Chai Latte meets Red Goddess of Cycles
Once again, I’m sitting here with a hot beverage.
Today, my place of choice is a cute outdoor café in a park in Germany.
I take a sip of Chai Latte from the Recup cup.
As the name suggests, it is a cup (borrowed with a deposit) that can be reused or returned after consumption – either to the same location or another partner shop.
I’d forgotten how environment-conscious the Germans are and love introducing new environment-friendly concepts every year.
Warming up in Between Spaces
How many coffees, Chai Lattes, matcha lattes and bubble teas have I drank in the past years from different cafés all around the world, I wondered.
These are my little moments of retreat & reflection.
Earplugs in, music on and I disappear into my own world for a while.
I tune out the streams of people coming and going, the chatter, the children’s screams and slowly, with each move of the pen, I arrive at my center.
My inner safe space.
There is no me being with me, there is only God.
And then God’s magic starts.
And ‘I’ let the words flow, ‘I’ give up total control, ‘I’ feel close to myself.
I live for those slow, sneaky moments of inward retreat, of coming Home.
In the midst of chaos, in the midst of all untameable external forces.
It is an ordinary warm Saturday afternoon, people from the outside see an Asian girl sitting with her Chai Latte and writing.
The wind brushes through my hair, and I feel my chest rise and fall rhythmically with my breath.
My bleeding phase is starting soon, and I’m extra sensitive and a bit grumpy.
I also came to the conclusion that I’m grateful for being in a woman’s body that flows in cycles.
Bleeding days are rest days, days of reflection, days of gathering strength, descending more into the womb space.
Time to stop the hurry.
I couldn’t run any further if I tried anyways as I’m lacking the energy.
My body gently directs me into surrender.
The past weeks have been a hectic, ecstatic blast with me jumping into the unknown, taking risks and expanding my being.
I wouldn’t want to miss any second of it.
However, I didn’t know how to stop the excitement and I’m grateful that I am given signals to slow down.
I feel the ancient ones asking me to lie down for a while.
Wisdoms of the Ancient Ones
They tell me to rest my attention on my tired body instead of the always busy mind. They tell me to turn off my phone and sit by a tree. They tell me to trust their guidance of wisdom and feel their patience & love.
‘Everything is fine. You are not in a hurry. You are allowed to rest, my child.’
I feel slow & tender.
Little pulses of pain run through my abdominal space. Waves of weakness & fatigue wash over me. Dreamlike state.
I feel hold & cared for.
The veil is thin. There is unspeakable power in a woman’s bleeding. Our bodies have known to cleanse and purify ourselves since the beginning of time. Holding us a mirror to show who we exactly are, what we are capable of and what we want.
There’s no hiding from suppressed thoughts & emotions.
Surrender or suffer from the energy invested in order to suppress your own precious life energy.
We are asked to strip naked to total surrender.
The Goddess dies and births herself again every moon.
She cries uncried tears and feels anger run through her veins. She reflects on moments of shame, guilt & unworthiness. She looks fear in the eye.
‘Thank you for your presence. I don’t need you any longer,’ she says.
She moves her aching body with delicious movements and discovers her strength once again in emptiness. She mourns moments she didn’t show up for herself and she celebrates her milestones. She hugs herself proudly for showing up the best she can every day and acknowledges her devotion to the Divine.
She recognises herself once again as the Divine Force she has been told her whole life to seek outside.
The pen slows down.
The café gets crowded.
I empty my Chai Latte.
I close the door on my inner mystic, knowing that I’ll meet her soon again.