Departure
Preparation
A week before my departure, I caught a cold. The limiting energy surprisingly quieted my mind, and left me focused on the essentials.
Packing and preparing all the necessary documents happened completely on auto-pilot.
Everything felt like a blur. A surreal dream, watching an invisible countdown tick down the days, hours and minutes until my flight.
There’s something about the energy of a closing chapter and anticipating the start of a new one. It feels like a big clean sweep. Suddenly, prioritising becomes urgent.
What is important? What really matters? Who really matters?
Where will I spend my remaining time & energy on?
In terms of key parameters, 7.600 km (or 4.600 miles) and 9 hours separate Germany from China.
In terms of of potential life changes and new experiences: infinite.
One Day Before Takeoff
On the last evening my parents gave me their final pieces of travel advice:
- Be careful about who to engage with. Ignore people who beg for money with their poor child on their back. These are organised scams. Move around low-key and stay guarded.
- Beware of your personal items. Always have your money close. Pickpockets are everywhere.
- Beware of eating street food. It is mostly a scam for tourists. It is not regulated, they can put anything into their food, even reheating them after several days.
- Eat tons of good quality food!
We had prepared for and talked about my journey for months. It had been a beautiful bonding time listening to their childhood stories, favourite food recommendations, and pieces of advice.
Trip to the Airport
My dad drove me to the train station, from which I would take a train to the airport. He gave me a quick briefing of all the aunts and uncles I would meet. ‘Your second aunt’s husband is a calm person. He has a very good attitude. Your aunt and him will treat you like a daughter. Your uncle from mom’s side is also a good person, very generous and always happy to help. Don’t be afraid to ask them about anything you need. If you don’t understand the Chinese words, ask them to explain again, don’t be shy.’
At the platform we hugged each other goodbye. Tears welled up in my eyes.
‘Thanks for all the beautiful talks in the past months with you and mum.'
'Yes, take care. I’m happy for you.’
I’m happy for you.
I could feel the sincerity behind his words. I don’t think I’d ever heard these words from my dad before. As a chronic worrier, it is difficult for him to relax. For years, I had urged him to worry less, to trust me to make my own decisions, and simply be happy that I was happy. The fact that, instead of only solo-traveling this time, I would be staying with family members as well may have played into his more relaxed and uplifting attitude.
When the train arrived, he helped me bring my suitcase inside, and I let him play the supportive dad role. Whereas as a child, his overcaring had been too much to deal with, during the past weeks I had enjoyed spending every extra minute with him and mum. When the train started moving, we waved until we lost sight of each other.
As a kid, my mum, my brother, and I regularly waved him off on his business trips to China.
The emotions of sadness about the physical separation remained the same, now in reversed roles.
The ICE trip went smoothly. I let the tears flow, journaled, and comforted myself with some snacks I’d bought moments before. Fluffy waffles gave me solace and for a moment I reminisced about how much we associate food not with physical, but emotional safety.
It’s getting serious, I’m officially on my way now!
At the airport
Airports and planes have a special type of magic.
A transition state between two junctions.
A place in between different worlds.
I’d grown accustomed to long-haul flights as a child (I got on my first flight when I was only a few weeks old!), and the same bubbling excitement about the upcoming journey arose.
I got through check-in and security control without any interruptions and strolled around the airport mall. Some shops displayed New Year Posters in Chinese, decorated with the traditional ornaments and a snake - a first taste of the coming days.
At my gate, out of hundreds of people, I could count exactly two Europeans. Everyone else was clearly Chinese.
They look like me.
For the majority of time in my life, I’d spent in environments where my looks were considered a minority. Often, I was the only woman, Asian or Asian woman.
‘I’m one of you!’ my inner child screamed and I happily welcomed the feeling of anonymity.
On the plane
My seat had a blanket and headphones, and the recognition that this hasn’t changed in over 20 years of flying somehow comforted me. I don’t know if they still have drawing books and play kits for kids, but I’m too old for that anyway.
I covered myself in childhood plane memories and tapped on the screen on the seat in front of me to choose a movie.
For the next few hours, I practised Chinese with the Minions.
