How I'm Rediscovering my Love for Gouache Painting - A Slow Guide for the Blocked Artist

My Struggle with Making Art

Over the past 5 years, my heart always yearned for creating visual art on paper and I mainly experimented with acrylics, watercolor, gouache and ink. Although I participated in some courses, I never developed a proper routine and didn’t dare to call myself an artist.

I’m guilty of buying tons of art supply, binge-watching tutorials, dreaming about being an artist and end up not making any art.

It took me some years to understand that it is okay that I don’t like drawings or anything realistic at all. This is something I like to make:

I get bored with theory and still learning about what learning style suits me best.

I’ve been pursuing many other interests in previous months, occasionally creating small paintings with watercolor.

My Main Blockages

Achievement-Oriented / Perfectionist Mindset
I focus more on the idea of the perfect end result, than seeing making art as a journey that takes time and is allowed to be fun. I rush through the process as if it’s something I just want to get over with, instead of creating with presence and joy.

Choice Paralysis or Information Overload
I can’t choose between different mediums I want to stick to, a motif I want to explore, or a style I want to learn. Scrolling through social media confuses me even more.

Comparison
My art looks nothing like what I see on social media. I struggle to stay in the present and accept where I am right now.

In short: Instead of diving into the world of colors and shapes and lose myself in each brushstroke, my energy is all over the place. Which leads to not starting anything at all. Fear, shame, judgment regarding the creation process seem to be scattered all over my psyche and I feel so blocked that I don’t even have words to describe them.

The Solution: Listening to my Intuition and Slowing Down

Lately, my inner muse is calling me to explore colors again. Since my Arteza paints dried out, I took the opportunity of a fresh start and ordered the HIMI Gouache paints.

As I’m on a social media break right now, I decided to crawl into the corners of my mind to retrieve all the memories stored from years of tutorial consumption.

My Intention for the coming weeks

Trust that I already know enough about making art.
Let my intuition guide every single step.
Curiosity over fear.
Simplicity over complexity.
Make art that feels good.
Create with the body, not the mind.
No need to rush. Enjoy.

Create from memory and presence only.

Let the brush, the paints, and the heart talk. Listen.

Tools

/ HIMI Gouache Paint + 3 brushes
/ A3 watercolor sheet
/ cutting mat by art creation
/ cutter, pencil, ruler, washi tape, water glass, old cloth

Warming Up - One Step at a Time

Today is all about getting familiar with the act of painting again and I wanted to experiment and play with zero pressure.

Step 1: Color Swatching

I used to watch videos about people showing their color swatches, but never took time to do this myself with new paints. Hence up until today I was missing out on the fun!

The HIMI Gouache paints are very smooth and creamy and I immediately fell in love with the consistency.

Step 2: Preparing the Paper

Filling an entire DIN A3 sheet seemed too intimidating, which is why I cut it into A6 pieces and framed them with washi tape for a clean border.

Step 3: Getting to Know the Brushes

I did some random movements with the brushes to understand their capabilities and how they interact with paint and water.

Step 4: Let the Fun Begin!

Conclusion of my Painting Session

I’m so grateful that I finally made time to approach painting in a playful, experimental way without a focus on outcome.

Through those warming up exercises I entered a relationship with the brushes and the paints and understood how they behave.

I got to know:

• the consistency of the paint
• the differences between the brushes
• how they transform with different amounts of water
• how much the paper is able to carry

Another discovery: the benefit of a test sheet!
In the past, I rarely practised strokes while painting and kind of expected each stroke to be perfect. Which is silly. I think I also thought of it as saving paper… Could’ve saved me a lot of stress.

Overall, I think I guided myself perfectly through the painting session, which lasted 3-4 hours. I’m really grateful that I was so patient with myself and gave myself the space that I needed. I was surprised by how much I actually remembered from past courses and classes.

I can’t wait to play more with the paints with a joyful/curiosity-driven/non-performative approach!

Thanks for joining me on this journey and see you in the next part! :)