Born in the Shadows

I thrive in intensity.
I survived hell.
I walked through inner wars that no words can describe.
I was born in the shadows.

I went to places most people are not even aware they exist.
I broke apart a million times.
I pieced myself together a million times.
I was made in the shadows.

In the shadows I found an invisible force.
Invisible to the eye, crystal clear to intuition.
A force that grew like a burning fire
every time I surrendered to my pain.

I learned that I was not drowning,
but in fact that I WAS the whole ocean.
The entire universe inside of me,
agony was another face of love.

I learned to play with my shadows,
to become best friends with them.
I learned to love them,
and see them for the shining diamonds that they are.

I learned to stop stacking emotions.
Guilt over shame over anger over fear.
I began to feel the intensity of those energies,
precious burning life force.

I learned that I can transmute them into light,
open a door to the other realms,
bath in the magic of existence,
immersed in unwavering reality.

As I write these words,
I feel sadness, anger & confusion.
For some reason I had to go through these experiences.
Walking through the long curtain of uncertainty & fear.
Not moving away from their soft touches on my skin.

At the same time there is clarity in me like never before.
And an inner knowing that I’m exactly where I need to be.
I can feel the strength from resting in my vulnerable Truth.
And not backing away from showing it to the world.

Like a caterpillar in its final metamorphosis stage
I’m ripping open the safe silk threads of protection,
breaking out of the cozy cocoon of darkness,
into the cold void.

This is not my first transformation,
and it won’t be my last.
For as long as the sun rises and falls:
I will die, and I will be reborn
again and again.