Emptiness, Silence, Simplicity as my Teachers: Being No One

I’m enjoying slow, dark autumn season to the max.

Resting unapologetically. Crafting little projects with my hands.
Being present in the non-digital world.

I’m using my phone and laptop very consciously these days, and the quieter my days are, the more noisy my mind seems to become. It feels like meditating for an hour and suddenly being aware of all the noise that has always been there. And I keep observing. Don’t react. Don’t distract myself.
Until all thoughts fade into the background.

Being more present in everyday life feels like slowing down time.
Cultivating emptiness and silence isn’t as easy as it sounds!
But it birthes great ideas and contemplations on the essentials of life.

Today has finally been that day.

That day where I will organise my paperwork.
That day where I will organise the mess in my shelf which consists of loose papers, dozens of (unfinished) notebooks, (finished) journals, crafting materials etc.
That day where I will do a proper deep clean and come up with a new structure that will be easy to maintain.

That’s the lesson I keep returning to:

No seed is ever planted in vain. Everything you do serves as anchor for something else to arise. Even though it may not make sense in the moment. What is meant for you, will always find you.

Being No One

Many of my manifestations have come true over the years. Some in quite magical, unforeseen ways.
It has been fun diving into the spiritual marketplace and exploring the unseen world. Getting experiences and highs. Breakthroughs and transformations.
Then, being part of a sangha taught me integration, devotion, and humility.

Now, after all these years, what I always come back to is simplicity. Unbecoming.

Imagining my best life takes energy.
Overanalysing conversations takes energy.
Trying to be someone takes energy.

In an endless pursuit of knowledge wisdom can never be attained.
Mindless consumption will never lead to satisfaction.

I spent the whole summer trying to be someone. Presenting a polished version to potential employers. Networking at draining events. Trying to find answers to please my parents. Dreaming myself into many different lives.

Now that I finally slowed down, I can look at the experiences with gratitude. Knowing that I’ll never be happy squeezing myself into a box, proving that I’m not lost and that I’m indeed someone.

Right timing can not be forced.

A lesson learned again and again…

I cleaned up two plastic bags today. Put many things online for giveaway.

Every piece I let go of was a release of old energy. Old versions of myself.

Needless to explain how much lighter I feel right now.

My mind feels clear and sharp.
I found many items I thought I had lost.
I deleted my current shopping list since I realised I didn’t need certain things anymore.

In that process, I felt inspired to built an altar again.

First Altar of the Year

I have been constantly changing locations this year and it took a while for me to feel like home again in Germany. I think the darker season now simply calls for silence & devotion. While I don’t have a strict spiritual practise these days, I long for longer meditation sessions. I long for being empty & silent.

I decided to cover my shelf with a mustard cloth (I love this earthy color) for less distraction and create a simple altar space in front of it.

Light version of Marie Kondo

Along with a picture of Anandamayi Ma, I included stones, sand, and a pine cone from places sacred to me and that I spoke many prayers to.

I was thinking about how emotional value of an object will always surpass the material value.
We alone define what sacred means to us.

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here i built another minimalistic altar