i will always know how to create a temple for myself and fall in love again

reposting some lines i wrote in october 2024 that i find quite relevant for recent times.
back then, i just moved back to germany after some years abroad, and got laid off in the midst of settling into a new city where i knew no one.

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After some years of adventures abroad, I thought it would be a cool idea to return to the country I grew up in for a while—for some stability, security, and to integrate all the experiences.
I moved to Cologne in September and the first thing the universe showed me once again was that security is only an illusion.
I went through another unexpected cycle of diving into the core wound of feeling rejected by God, observing which beliefs, situations, or people I had attached my freedom and happiness to, moving all the fear energies out of my body, and finally coming to peace with not knowing (well, this is an ongoing work in progress).

I have two pictures on my current altar, representing the spirits of bliss & joy:
my younger self and Anandamayi Ma.

Many nights, I sit in prayer and meditation, offering all my feelings—from fear to gratitude—until I am empty. And then I stay.
Sometimes I get angry and desperate.
Sometimes I cry.
Sometimes I know that everything is perfect as it is.

I no longer have any idea what “normal” looks like.
All I know is that I am always home when I tune out the external world and enter my inner world.
In silence, and in non-attachment to the mind’s stories, I will always find peace.

I will always know how to create a temple for myself and fall in love again.

On a collective level, there is turmoil, transformation, and nonstop purging these days.
I pray that every soul is able to find their inner guidance and not be distracted by the images and circumstances of the external world.

What are you currently praying for? ✨