building a new life in berlin with God

There was a time in my life when I was convinced that the highest form of service I could offer to God was to live in an ashram or monastery. Surrounded by a community of people dedicating their lives serving the Divine.

Well, I did that. I lived and served in a spiritual community in Portugal for two years until 2023. While balancing a remote part-time IT job on the side.

During that time, I felt I was reaching my highest spiritual potential.

We meditated daily, came together in contemplative weekly study groups, and attended bi-annual retreats. We worked on the land, maintained the buildings, and, shortly before summer season started, began preparations for public and internal retreats.
We learned how to deepen the relationships between each other, the animals, the land and the wider world.

My longing for the Divine finally found an outlet, and I learned many different ways to express it.

In its most simple form, it has been all about the moment-to-moment recognition of the Sacred and the willingness to pour all of ourselves—our love— into doing and being.

Even the most mundane tasks, such as cleaning, can be a devotional practice.

Many of my preconceived spiritual beliefs were shattered back then by the sheer ordinariness of our ‘spiritual lives’, and I’ll be forever grateful for everything I’ve learned with my teachers and my sangha.

In the end, God had other plans for all of us.

After recovering from the community’s collapse and not knowing if and how I could ever fit into a ‘normal conventional’ life again, I’m finally finding myself settling once more.

In Berlin.
In my first 9-5 office job.

integration of the Material and Spiritual World

It’s been three weeks since I began this new chapter. My day-to-day right now looks very practical and functional.

Work, gym, eat, sleep, repeat.

The time in-between is dedicated to shopping for new household items, doing chores, trying not to get lost all the time, and reminding myself that the overwhelm won’t last forever.

Both job and my apartment are good. I’ll share more in the next monthly.

What has primarily occupied my mind lately are these questions:

• How do I continue my spiritual practices?

• How do I carve out time for my artistic longings?

• How do I find like-minded people during the limited time I have in the evenings or on the weekends?

• How can I keep remembering God every single day?

• How do I commune with the Divine while working a very practical, mind-driven 9-to-5?

My devotion to God, to serving, and to remembering is the most important thing in my life.

How do I build a life with God as my gravitational center, rather than my job?

I’m afraid of losing myself to the distractions of the material world again. Forgetting the spark that has been lit in my heart and everything I’ve learned on my spiritual path so far.

But up until now, I’m quite proud of my micro anchors:

• Meditating and praying every morning for 10 minutes.
• Carrying gratitude in my heart throughout my day
• Journaling and reflecting in the evening, with occasional meditations
• One extended meditation on the weekend

I’ve been following the Gene Keys teachings for some years by now and consider their contemplations and prayers my main influence. I use the Triple Flame app to track my meditations.

It’s been a massive relief to see that years of practice has created a momentum and faith that I carry with me through all time zones and life phases.

Ideally, I’ll soon introduce a short 5-10 min meditation session during my midday lunch break to reset my being and infuse the rest of the day with more calmness.

I have always envied my Muslim friends for their dedicated prayer times five times a day. Or Christians, Hindus, Buddhists or follower of other religions for their communities and repeating weekly gatherings.

As a non-religious person—currently without a community—who prays to God and different incarnations of the Divine, I have to set the rhythms and structures myself.

Building an Altar

Wherever I go, sooner or later, I start creating an altar. Interestingly, it’s a longing that always emerges organically after some time. When I move to a bigger long-term apartment soon, I would love to have a separate prayer room.

A sacred space for my spiritual practices. A physical reminder of who I am and why I’m here.

In my former spiritual community, everyone had personal altars, and various small altar places were spread across the land.

In the ‘normal’ world, no one talks about building altars. While colleagues chat about the latest garden achievements, vacation destinations or other societally accepted topics, I know not to bring up God or the fact that I spent last weekend building an altar.

Which is why I’m sharing it here.

My apartment is relatively small, but I found a way to move the side table into a position where I can comfortably sit in front of it.

My Relationship with God

Is ever changing.

Sometimes, I talk to God as a single entity.
Sometimes, I talk to my spirit guides and angels.
Sometimes, I talk to my ancestors.

Occasionally, I feel drawn to the essence of the Divine Feminine, Kuan Yin, or Anandamayi Ma.

Other times, a spirit animal makes itself known.

Most of the time, I have a spiritual companion by side.

It may sound a little scattered, but overall, it feels like a strong, loving support system that takes different shapes during different phases in my life.

In recent weeks, I’ve felt more connected to my spirit guides. Between the sensory overload that comes with a new city, a new job, and a strict four-day workout plan, I’ve only been checking in with them—and myself—briefly during the day before exhaustedly falling into bed.

The days have been full and it’s completely normal that it takes time to adjust to everything. I’m overstimulated, tired and grateful most of the time.

And of course there are moments where I doubt why the f God thought that sitting in front of a computer in a loud office space 40h a week was the answer to my prayers. I allow the frustration and anger be. (And to be fair, it’s a hybrid role with some home office days and I applied for and accepted this role, because intuitively it felt like the best option.)

In those moments, I’m reminded that this opportunity now will open many doors for me in a few years, that will eventually lead me to the life I actually desire.

Who knows how many surprises will wait along the way.

I’m already harvesting the fruits of many good habits I’ve built throughout the years and it’s satisfying to see how much better my decisions are now in comparison with those I made in the past.

Either way, new beginnings are allowed to be energy-consuming, cringey, anxiety-inducing, just as much as they are thrilling and exciting.

I’m protected, guided and loved.

After a long, full day, this what I return to—and it’s the only thing that truly counts in the grand scheme of life.

God is with me in every breath, every word, every thought.